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BLMs Eke Out Victory Over Anarchists in Hard-Fought ANTIFA Intramural Beach Volleyball Invitational
Anti fascism has never been so much fun!
Saturday, August 29th, 2020 will be a date long remembered by many Redhats and Blue Backs who will likely paint the occasion as an illegal gathering of insurrectionists. But that didn’t stop the Kitty Hawk Chapter of ANTIFA from putting on one whopper of an exhibition, as Harriet “Moses” Tubman and partner Frederick “Fast Freddie” Douglass took on crosstown rivals Dwight “D. for Damage” Eisenhower and Susan B. “Boom-Boom” Anthony in what can only be described as a living sand sculpture of anti-fascist pageantry.
Fans in attendance were treated to a championship caliber spectacle as Tubman-Douglass managed to sneak past Anthony-Eisenhower for a two-set victory, 22–20 and 21–18. It was a tight contest all the way, with many believing Tubman-Douglass would easily railroad Anthony-Eisenhower after a last-minute change to the Anarchists’ pairing.
Boom-Boom Anthony handpicked “The Dangerous One” after her original partner and longtime ANTIFA member, William “Not THAT Jefferson” Clinton was suspended after testing positive for the performance-enhancing substance adrenochrome. We reached out to Clinton and in a statement, he denied the allegations.